wtf?

Becca Anderson blathers about...stuff. Or something.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Letters 2.

It is time, once again, for some letters.

Dear S,

You know I love nothing more in the universe than winning or being right, right? However, you also know that if I am wrong, I'll admit it.

Well, I was wrong.

I should have listened to you in the first place when you told me to leave you alone, but of course I thought I could fix anything with sheer willfulness. But you were right; time away seems like it has done you good, and it has definitely helped me.

So. I still read your blog (stalker!), and still hope that we can be friends. Or friend-ly. Or at least not openly hostile. But I won't push it. After all, good things come to those who wait, right?

Be good,
Becca

****

Dear Body,

I didn't lose those 10 pounds on purpose, but man. Are you happy they're gone? I am trying to be good to you, what with the exercising and trying not to eat as much crap. Also, was the laziness over break recuperative? I know the brain enjoyed it, and I hope you did too.

Confidential to Shoulder: I will get you looked at as soon as I can afford it, I promise.

Thanks for being hot,
Becca

****

Dear Beach Club,

You are the greatest invention of Jimmy John's Sandwiches, but shhh! Don't tell the other sammiches or they might get jealous. Your delicious combination of turkey, provolone, avocado, cucumber, tomato, and sprouts, combined with the whole-grain bread? YUM. It really hit the spot this afternoon, and I think you qualify as healthy!

Keep up the good work,
Becca A.

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Dear BABE the Beemer [ed note: she came with that name because the letters BABE are in the VIN.]

WHY DO YOU APPARENTLY HATE ME?!

OK, so the upholstery on your interior door panels is falling off. But I am brainstorming ways to fix it! And I know your bumper got scratched in the Spinning on Lakeshore Drive Incident of '05, but I just can't afford to get it touched up right now. I do the best I can, washing and waxing as seasonally appropriate, though, right? And didn't I get that Diet Coke Incident of '05 cleaned up right away? Yes, yes I did.

So WHY would you choose 2:30 on a Tuesday afternoon, right before I needed to be at a doctor's appointment, to BREAK DOWN in the MIDDLE OF THE STREET?! Honestly. If your alternator wasn't in good shape, couldn't you have just...not started? When I was still at my house? Or hell, last NIGHT when I was already AT the auto shop getting gas? So I wouldn't have to hang out with you for an HOUR AND A HALF with NO HEAT while waiting for the tow truck? I couldn't just LEAVE you there, you know! You might've gotten towed to the city pound with the other ne'er do wells, and you are better than that, BABE. (Additionally I think we already learned our lesson about playing Chicken with the City of Chicago, didn't we?)

At any rate, I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but that was spectacularly poor timing. Please make a note and try to improve the next time you feel a breakdown coming on.

I still love you to bits,
Becca the Driver

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Dear Eric the Mechanic,

I am sad/happy that you know my name without a reminder of the car I drive or the fact that I have red hair. I am glad we have a good working relationship, but am sad that we even have to have a relationship in the first place. However, you do great work and are always very tolerant of my dramatic and often last-minute auto needs. I also like the shirt-and-tie thing you and your associates had going today; very snappy.

I'll talk to you soon. Please don't bleed my wallet dry.

-Rebecca A.

****

Gabbers,

You are so cute, as always. Look at you, napping with your chin on my arm! I don't know how that doesn't bother you when I type, but hey, whatever works.

I am baffled, however, with your obsession with trying to knock over any and all bedside lamps! Why do you have it in for them? I think you know that I love you more than them. Also, could you please shed some light on why you keep staring at the ductwork in the dining room? Are there MICE in there? If so, and if you ever catch a mouse in this house, you had better not deposit it on my bed.

Thanks for being cute and furry.
Love, the cat mom