wtf?

Becca Anderson blathers about...stuff. Or something.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Three Weeks.

In three weeks it will be 2006. This is completely wrong and insane in my eyes. Where did 2005 go?

The holidays are always a nostalgic time for me, filled with love and laughter and good friends and food and memories of holidays past. Since I moved away, it is one of the few times that I see my family, and it is such a comfort to be in my mom's house, or in my dad's house, or driving down the red dirt roads of the Oklahoma countryside. Home.

Most comforting is church on Christmas Eve. When I'm at my dad's house, I drive alone to St. Mary's Episcopal church, listening to Christmas music as I zip through the black, cold night. In church, I sit alone, a stranger among the families. But in some ways that is okay. When I'm at my mom's, she and Ken and I ride together to a church I don't know, to fellowship with strangers. Either way, though, I listen to the same story of Christmas, and I sing carols in the candlelit sanctuary, singing out bright and clear even though I probably should spare the other parishoners that particular punishment.

Along with the comfort, though, is always a little year-end reflection. As 2005 comes to a close, it is only natural for me to think of where I have been this year, and where I am going, and to wonder: will I ever get there?

This year I did these things: dated someone great, went to NYC for the first time, quit my job, started graduate school, sadly broke up with someone great, started waitressing again, was v. poor, moved, started saving money, got my car booted, got very stressed out re: money and school, decided not to get another cat just yet, and (almost) finished my first semester of graduate school. I learned a lot about myself and my limits and I really learned about being alone and the goods and bads that go along with.

If I look at it objectively, I can be proud of myself. I have a few regrets, sure, but mostly the bad stuff was out of my control.

In 2006, I will do some things. Usually I set "beginning of school year" resolutions, but this year I will do some new year's resolutions. I have a friend who does hers quarterly, because that is more manageable. Maybe I will try that.

Stay tuned. Only three weeks to go.

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